Mother’s Day and grief

When one seasonal holiday ends, the next one quickly begins. Shops, petrol stations, and advertisements start to fill with cards and gift ideas. Each one quietly pointing to the fact that someone important is no longer there.

Mother’s Day can be a particularly difficult one when you’re grieving.

If your mother has died, the constant reminders leading up to the day itself can bring that absence into focus. A relationship that once meant so much suddenly feels very present in its absence.

I wrote recently that grief never really leaves, but that life eventually grows around it. At times like this, the sense of loss may be closer to the surface. Memories, small rituals, or the simple wish to share the day with someone who mattered can appear more sharply.

Not every mother is remembered fondly. And even when a mother is still alive, the relationship itself may be complicated. Distance, estrangement, or unresolved hurt can make the day feel uncomfortable rather than joyful.

For many people, the experience of Mother’s Day is more complex than the public version suggests. Acknowledging that complexity, rather than pushing it aside, can sometimes make the day a little easier to carry.